It's time that we start putting pants on our pets, because I'm pretty damn sick of having to look at dog and cat anus.  Don't get me wrong, I love my cat, and my friend's dogs, but I don't want to be assaulted by dog and cat anus every second.  It's just so in my face.  I'm the only one willing to put my hand up and shout it out, NO MORE PET ANUS!

My proposal is to have our pets wear clothes.  The people that dress their pets are on the right track.  They might be dressing them for the wrong reasons, but I think that we should follow their lead.  We're civilized people here, but every darn day we still have to live with pet anus staring us in the face.  And it's strange, maybe it's me, but doesn't it seem that dogs and cat purposely point their anus at you?  I think that there is a vast pet conspiracy to have us stare at that part of their bodies.  How many times will you go over to someone's house, you sit down, and boom, and two seconds later you're assaulted by their pet's anus in your face?  It happens to me all the time.

You might say that I'm very sensitive to this issue because it happens so often to me.  But I think that it's a universal thing.  The question I asked was rhetorical, but it's also meant to be answered.  I KNOW in my heart of hearts that you all have been accosted by your pet's anus.  I'm just sick and tired of having to look at it.  It's time we put an end to this stuff.  This is America, it's time we can fix this problem.

I've come to expect mediocrity.  It's really the only way I'm able to live these days.  I've gotten so good at living with it that mediocrity doesn't really even bother me anymore.  You might even say that I like mediocrity, nay LOVE mediocrity.

These days when I go out to eat I rather go eat at McDonald's than some five star restaurant.  I love those tasteless greasy hamburgers over filet mignon.  In music I love to listen to teenybopper music over classical music.  It's just that mediocrity is so much easier than quality.  You can't expect much from mediocre things, and that's why I like those things these days.  Having low expectations means that you're never surprised.  You'll never be disappointed with the mediocre, because you'll be completely used to things being mediocre.

I hope you follow my example and start to expect mediocrity everywhere.  It's the way the world is going you know.  You best not fight it, because if you expect excellence then you're pretty much doomed to suffer.  You are so going to suffer under the wave of the mediocre.  Don't you dare come to expect good service anymore, that's going to make way for automated stuff.  You're never going to be able to talk to a real person on the phone anymore.  Anytime you need help you'll be talking to a computer who will have a nice recorded message telling you that you aren't important.  You won't get the answer you need, and you'll call back only to get connected to a real person.