| Summer 2005 |
As a Republican I follow certain ideals set forth by the Republican Party. I don't have to question what my republican representative says, or does, because I know that he has my best interest in mind. I know this because he's a republican, and I'm a republican too. Republicans are the righteous party of the two that we have. It would probably be better if all of us were just republicans, and that other party would just wither away and die. We republicans have figured out all the problems in the world, and have a plan to conquer them all. The first thing is that we must lower taxes. Do you realize that the ozone layer could be fixed if we just lowered taxes? Yup. And the war in Iraq, there is no way that it couldn't be fixed if we just let democrats pay taxes. They're always spending money like it's going out of style. Why don't they start actually paying for the government programs they invent? Democrats love to be taxed, so why not tax them and let us republicans spend the money the right way? I'll tell you why. Because your typical democrat is a naysayer, a constant wet blanket. They will forever be the party of the "Can’t dos." Well, the Republican Party is the party that gets things done. Social Security... we didn't invent it, but we are working to make it finally work right. We didn't really think it was a good idea to spend billions going to the moon, but we were proud when the American flag was planted on the surface of the moon. That flag was made righteous by republicans. All I'm saying here is that republicans are the party of the right. We're right about everything, so it amazes me that anyone would want to be a democrat, or part of the Green party, or an independent. That stuff just doesn't make any sense to me. I'm happy being a right republican, they should be too. Even if they have to be forced.
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Where did this notion that the Patriot Act is an abandonment of our rights come from? It says it in the name; it's a patriotic act that is here to help us fight the terrorists. Anyone that tells you different is either a traitor, or a terrorist sympathizer. I have this so-called friend that talks to me about the Patriot Act all the time. They have some strange ideas about what they think the Patriot Act does to us, and what it says to the terrorist. My friend says that the Patriot Act is actually a surrender of our rights. Can you believe that?! I mean come on. They say that the Patriot Act is, in a way, a victory for the terrorists. Now, when I asked how they could think that they answered, "We're taking away our own rights. A terrorist couldn’t do that in a million years without the help of our own fears." Hmm, I thought, my friend has obviously been smoking some of the wacky tobacco. I don't see how making sure that we’re safe is giving up our rights. I mean come on. My friend has some strange ideas I tells ya. They think that the best weapon against terrorism is to have more freedoms. It's strange to hear that because I think that more freedoms mean more ways that the terrorists can find to hurt us all. It's so silly to want to give people more openness, when the terrorists are just waiting to pop through any little opening they can find. My friend is so totally wrong, but I can't seem to convince them of this very simple fact. I think it's because they think that freedom is this thing that can't have limits. The very nature of the word, they'll say, means not having any limits. A right like the freedom of speech, for instance, is supposed to be total and irrevocable. Well, I don't know about you, but there are certainly some things that I hear that shouldn't be said. Certainly advocating blowing up the United States is something that should be banned. That kind of talk we don't need. It's just plain silly to say that speech like that should be allowed. I guess my friend is either in cahoots with, or sympathetic to, the terrorists that are trying to destroy us. It's quite possible that my friend is not just sympathetic, but rather is a terrorist. That would explain why they hate the Patriot Act so much. They can't find a way around it. Yeah, that's enough for me to be convinced that we need the Patriot Act.
You ever wonder what ethnicity Adam and Eve were? If they were "white" then where did everyone who isn't "white" come from? Where did people with dark skin come from? How about those who have yellow skin, or red, or olive, or any other color for that matter? I tell you, the more I think about it, the story of Adam and Eve proves one thing, that we are not all made in the image of God. One can make the argument that anyone who doesn't look like Adam and Eve isn't really a child of God. I would say that everyone else just mutated from the original two, but then that doesn't fly because the notion would be tantamount to saying that we evolved into the different ethnicities we see today. And we all know that evolution is just some cockamamie theory that holds no water in the face of religious truths. But, then we're back to the question as to where all these other people came from. I doubt that Adam and Eve were Chinese. Every picture I see has them looking rather WASPy, if you ask me. No way Adam and Eve were black, that's for sure. But, the same goes for every race except the white race. So I guess you can only come to two conclusions: One, that every ethnic group, other than the race that Adam and Eve were, is some alien race of people. Or two, the biblical account of the creation of humans doesn’t jive with the reality of multiple ethnicities. I don't know about you, but both conclusions are rather frightening. Not only that, but really either conclusion would drastically change the foundations of religion. If we examine the first conclusion, then what we have is one race of people who were created by God, and some other "things" that are similar to humans, but aren't really. Because we can't fall back on the idea that people evolved into the different ethnic groups we see today, because evolution is a theory that most religions assail as having no merit at all. You can't suddenly say that people evolved into other ethnicities. Nor can you say that God made the different races, because that would fly in the face of the creation of Adam and Eve. That would mean that there was more than one set of Adam and Eve. Perhaps that answers the question. God didn't kick just one pair of Adam and Eve out of the Garden of Eden, but rather every different race we see today. If we go with the second of our conclusions, then that means that the bible is factually wrong. That being said, who would know what it got right, and what it got wrong. And if the supposed word of God is wrong, then perhaps those who wrote it really didn't know what they were talking about. And that would mean that every religion that has these ideas has come to the wrong conclusion. Perhaps the answer does lie in evolution. It does seem to answer the question of multiple ethnicities quite easily. We have so many different ethnicities because we evolved differently depending on what we had to adapt to. That seems like a logical answer to me. But, there will still be a lot of people that will say that I'm wrong to come to that conclusion. However, they need to ask themselves, if the bible got something as important as why there are so many ethnicities wrong what else did it get wrong?
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I was thinking, perhaps you gave me that crappy gift because you don't like me very much. It's the only thing that I can think of to explain the crappy gift you got me for my birthday. I have to give you a huge thanks for making me feel "SO important." But don't worry, when your birthday comes around you'll get the same kind of thoughtful gift you gave me. Then we'll see who's laughing. Because I can tell you right now, it's going to be me. Now you might say, what does it even matter what you got me. It's true, it shouldn't be about what I get, but the fact that you even got me something. Like that saying about how it's not the gift but the thought. Still, to me a crappy gift means that you didn't even put any effort into thinking what might be a good gift. Having done the same thing in the past, I know what I'm talking about here. I've been a cheapo gift giver on occasion. One time I remember I got a crappy gift for Christmas, and a few months later I turned around and gave that gift to someone else. But I didn't like that person! I had to get them something, because it's the thought that counts. However, I really didn't want to get them anything at all. Yeah, but you know how you're stuck having to give certain people gifts because you HAVE to? The biggest pain for me is getting gifts for people I don't know very well, or for family members I'm not that close to. I think there should be some sort of rule that you are only allowed to get gifts for people who will actually appreciate them. If they don't, then that should mean automatic banishment from any, and all, gift lists. I hate giving gifts to certain people, because you NEVER know what to get them. You could travel to the ends of the Earth and not find anything they would like to have. That kind of stuff kills me to no end. It's like, I'm traveling to the ends of the Earth and the best I get is "Meh, thanks" for my troubles. Who even invented giving a bunch of crappy gifts for every little stupid celebration anyway? It must have started with the greeting card companies trying to find some more occasions to have us buy someone a card. Well, I'm sick of this fake gift giving, celebrating meaningless moments, crap! From now on everyone I know gets the same thing from me... NOTHING. Perhaps then I'll get nothing back, and I won't have to recycle bad gifts to other people. Maybe that's the problem. People get bad gifts and recycle them. I'm pretty sure I've gotten that stupid crystal candy dish four times in my life. And I'll probably get it another four times before I die. People, stop getting me that stupid crystal candy dish already. I'm just going to give it to someone, who will give it to someone else, who in turn will give it to another person. Eventually it's going to come back to me, and to you. So let's just stop the cycle and throw that thing out. Next time I get it I'm going to break the chain.
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Spring 2005 / Bliss / archive / Fall 2005