| Spring 2005 |
How come every time I say "IF" no one gets the meaning of my statement? When I say "IF," all I'm saying that anything is possible. IF a train hits me on my way to work I won't be arriving on time. When I say "IF" I'm simply opening the door to all possibilities. That's all. No one ever seems to get it. "IF" means that anything is possible. All things in the known universe are now at the mercy of my imagination. "IF" the universe shrunk to the size of a basket ball tomorrow, I won't be able to eat lunch. When I say "IF" it never means that anything I say is going to happen. But, what "IF?" Isn't that wonderful, to not know what to expect? That's the power of the word "IF." Yet, people still insist on bullying me out of my "What IFs." I hate that, because, as I said before, all things are possible with the word "IF." Without that word we wouldn't have gone to the moon. We wouldn't have gone past the speed of sound. We wouldn't have invented the wheel. It's as simple as "IF." So the next time I say to you, "What "IF" that cute girl you like thought you were cute." Don't come answer back, "Yeah, but she doesn't." In the spirit of the word "IF" just answer back, "Yeah, What IF?" |
Why are you bitching about everything? Everything is OK. How do I know? Because I say so, that's how I know everything is simply hunky-dory. Why wouldn't everything be OK? The world is safer against terrorism. We have a smart, thoughtful, and caring man in the White House. What else do I have to tell you to convince you that things are OK? Wait, I don't have to convince you. You should already be convinced that everything is OK. Why? Because I say everything is OK. Don't give me that song and dance about how the environment is unhealthy. Don't give me that bullshit about how we're no safer than before 9/11, we are. I don't want to hear about how bad the war in Iraq is going. I certainly have no need to hear a single thing about the constitution being shredded. That's so not happening. Why would anyone want to do such a thing? It's just stupid to say these things are wrong. My suggestion to all those who think we're so bad is to get a life. Everything is so good that you don't have anything to really complain about. So, you spend your days complaining about what's right. That makes no sense. You should be perfectly happy, not perfectly miserable. Yet, that's how you act, and that's how you look, when you talk about the ozone layer. Or how you're always bitching that there are too many guns on the streets. No there aren't. There need to be more guns on the street. That would make our streets safer, so I think. So what's your beef with everything? Is it that you have no life? Is it that you haven't left your basement in 10 years? Honestly get a life, and stop complaining about everything. Because everything is OK. How do I know that? Because I say everything is OK. Duh! |
| Important News |
Is there ever a time when you just say to yourself, "Why do I even bother?" Well, if you don't then let me say that I certainly do. I say it when I wake up, and when I go to sleep. Ah, not so much when I go to sleep. That's the one time that I don't say it. Probably because I'm getting ready to go somewhere where the stupid problems of the world are no where in sight. Unless I have a dream that Bush is elected to a second term. Wait, that wasn't just a nightmare, that actually happened. Dammit! What is it with you people?
OK, OK, like I was saying, I'm constantly wondering why I even wake up in the morning. If it's the not the news telling me that the air I breath every day is toxic, or that the food I ate is full of chemicals, and crazy scientist messed with its DNA, then it's something stupid like I forgot my keys in the house. It's always something, is what I'm trying to say. I suppose it could be worse, I could be dead. But is that really worse? Sure, I have no idea what awaits me beyond this mortal coil, but the idea that it's anything like when I sleep is a wonderful one. Because I don't feel a damn thing when I'm asleep, and because of that I look forward to my nightly repose.
Then in the morning comes the HUGE struggle to wake up. I don't want to face another day of traffic up my ass, and things killing me because I took a breath. I'm pretty damn sick of the world right now. It seems that civility is completely gone. You know, after 9/11 I had this feel that maybe, just maybe, we could come together as a nation, and as a world, to fight stupidity, in all its forms. Yet, that quickly gave way to threats, and bombs, and guns, and killing. So now I ask myself "Why bother?" The answer I keep coming up with is, "There isn't a good reason." And that answer scares me.
There should be a million reasons for me to bother. But it seems that the good guys have lost. They're down for the count, over and done with. Civility, understanding, things that you hear about in books, and on people's lips, don't really exist though. Oh, there are a few tie dye hippies that believe in that stuff, and live it daily. Yet, for the rest of us it's just not something that actually exists. Hence me wondering why I even bother to get up in the morning. Maybe tomorrow I won't wake up. Now that would be a dream.
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