| Fall 2003 |
American Ecstasy is an opinion magazine that intends to
take a humorous view of some serious, and not so serious, issues that face
our world.
We, as a nation, have lost our course in many ways. We are paddling with ever diminishing effort against the oncoming current. We are richer, but also poorer. We are stronger, but also weaker. We are a nation of individuals who have lost their identity in favor of an image someone else has imposed on us. But, it's never too late to paddle harder, to find the richness in our hearts, to reach Nirvana, or to right ourselves. Read American Ecstasy with a grain of salt, and remember, we're just trying to have fun. |
Isn't it time that we abandon the idea that quality is the highest standard? Isn't quality the mark of generations past long ago? I think that I want everything I own to be disposable. Why should I have to suffer with something old just because it still does the job well? I want something new. It's not fair that my friends have new things, to show off, every couple of years. Meanwhile, I have the same old things because growing up I was taught to buy something made well, and it would last forever. Or at least a very long time. I think it's time I stop thinking like that, and start to think like everyone else. There are so many great new, shinny, things that are out there in stores for me to buy. And you know, I like that those new shinny things don't last that long. I'm of the mind now that I want to have something new, or not at all. If it isn't shinny, and with a price tag still attached to it, I don't want to show it off. And really that's what I want to do, show off my new stuff. I constantly go to work and have my co-workers show me their new cell phone, their new laptop, their new shoes, their new car, their new anything. I'm sick of being the only one without something new to show off. It's really easy for me to be the disposable person I want to be. Everything nowadays is disposable, even if it doesn't say that on the package. There's a beautiful built in obsolescence in everything nowadays. Things aren't made of metal, their made of plastic. They aren't designed to be fixed, but rather to be thrown away. I tried to get my blender fixed a few weeks ago, and found out that it was cheaper to just get a new one. OK, so the new one isn't as powerful, and it won't last me more than a couple of years. Who cares? Why should I stay with this old blender just because it was my mother's? Why should I get it repaired for the second time? Wouldn't a new one look really nice in my kitchen? Then again, I'd probably still get the old one repaired just because it is better at making the stuff I need blended. Maybe I'll get it repaired after all. But, then, the repair shop is going to close because people just don't take things in to get repaired anymore. I guess I will have to buy a new one after all. |
While watching one of those gross out stunt shows I got an idea. I should try to do one of the stunts myself. I mean, if it's on TV it must be safe, right? I'm pretty sure that there are trained professionals looking out for guys like me. Nevermind that the show has a disclaimer before it starts, and right as the show comes back from a commercial. That's there because the world is so sue happy. People want to find something wrong with something so they can get paid. I just want to do those great stunts. Like there was this guy that ate a box of nails. That was so cool. He put them in a funnel, so they would all face the same direction as they went town his throat. That was an incredible stunt. My friend, who reads the news and stuff, told me that the guy who did that stunt died. Yeah, I guess eating a pound of metal will do that. Yeah, but that won't happen to me. My stunt is something no one has died doing. See, what I plan on doing is slitting my wrists to let the blood run out, and then light off a firecracker as I hold it in my fingers. Now, I ask you, have you seen that on TV, ever? Nope, I'm the only one that will do it. I'm a stunt pioneer. I just hope someone doesn't steal my other idea. This stunt involves me someone poking me in the eye repeatedly, until I can't see. I think that stuff might cause me some problems in the long run. I mean, being a stupid stunt artist is cool and all, but I like to see where I'm going. Maybe I'll try it, cause I don't want to turn on the TV and find some dude doing it, instead of me. I'm the one that thought up the idea. I should be the one blinded for life. |
| Important News |
This so great! I won an award for my new song, and I didn't even write it. Well, kinda. You see, I went and sampled one of my favorite songs, and put a couple of new lines in, added a snare drum in the background to match the beat that was already there, and bam, instant hit. It's so great, I hardly did any work. I mean, I did have to go out and buy the record that I sampled the music from. Oh, and I had to get an electronic beat machine that helped me add the snare drum to the track. Oh, and then I had to come up with some real original lyrics. Thankfully another artist helped me out with that too. There was a poem that my girlfriend once wrote, and dedicated to me. She's an ex-girlfriend now, but I'm sure that she would love it if she heard the lyrics on my new song.
You know what I really love about this stuff? People no older than teens think that I came up with these great songs. Little do they know that their parents probably listened to many of the songs I sample. But hey, I'm not going to tell them. Why should they think that their favorite artist samples his music? I mean, if you want to go ahead and break these kid's hearts go ahead and tell them. I don't really mind anyway. I pay a few bucks for the rights to a song to some music corporation and I'm in the money baby. I guess it is messed up that the person who actually wrote the song I'm sampling, and making millions of dollars with, should get a cut of the money I'm making now. I mean, if it wasn't for them I wouldn't be here now. Truth be known, I don't really have that much talent. My talents lie in being able to bring together different ideas together. Yeah, I didn't come up with the licks for my new album, but so what? Their good licks, no matter what. And really, who am I hurting anyway? No one, that's who.
Summer 2003 / Bliss / archive / Winter 2003-04