| Summer 2003 |
American Ecstasy is an opinion magazine that intends to
take a humorous view of some serious, and not so serious, issues that face
our world.
We, as a nation, have lost our course in many ways. We are paddling with ever diminishing effort against the oncoming current. We are richer, but also poorer. We are stronger, but also weaker. We are a nation of individuals who have lost their identity in favor of an image someone else has imposed on us. But, it's never too late to paddle harder, to find the richness in our hearts, to reach Nirvana, or to right ourselves. Read American Ecstasy with a grain of salt, and remember, we're just trying to have fun. |
If you have kids you know how horrible it can be to find some thing for them to do. Kids today need a constant bombardment of entertainment in order to stay out of their parent's hair. It's not easy to turn a kid into a TV addicted, chip eating, video game playing, couch potato. But, it is necessary. A lot has been said these days about Attention Deficit Disorder. ADD is simply a fancy way to say a parent isn't doing his/her job as a provider of constant stimulation to their kids. Everyone knows that a child that isn't constantly watching TV, or playing video games, is a nuisance. Kids complain too much these days. They have so many options for entertainment, and they want them all in their faces. Parents must provide their kids with all the entertainment resources that they can afford. From TVs and DVD players in the car, to every video game ever created. The alternative is a child that is bored. And there is nothing more criminal than a child being bored. Can you imagine, boredom. It's sad. No child should ever have the time to be alone with his/her own thoughts. Boredom is the very definition of being with one's own thoughts. If a child is with their own thoughts the next thing you know they are getting to know themselves, using their imagination, and liking themselves. In this day and age these things are a hindrance towards the ultimate goal of being a rich professional ass-hole. And isn't that every parent's dream? To assure future success, parents must feed children a steady diet of TV, DVDs and video games. All these things distract a child long enough for parents to live their own lives, without the burden of rearing a child. Parents today no long need to devote their free moments to getting to know their children. What's the use in that? Things like talking only form bonds that are harder to break later on in life. Yet another burden to carry as you drive to work in traffic. So, the next time you feel an urge to spend a quite moment alone with your child, fight it. Fight it because a constant bombardment of entertainment is so much better for your kids than the alternative. Quiet moments of introspection only lead to happiness, and understanding one's self. And who wants that for their child I ask you? |
My brother is gay. He has a lover. He wants to marry his lover. The law won't allow that to happen. I'm thinking that he's better off not getting married. But, that's just me. What do I know? I know that I've been married 20 years, and I'm miserable. I say, let my gay brother marry his lover. I say let him be as miserable as I am in my marriage. Why should he be so lucky as to be excluded from being married. Since when is it written that only straight people can be miserable? I rather he be married and miserable, like me. You know, he doesn't know how good he has it. I often wonder why he even wants to get married. I guess he's in love. But, what does love have to do with marriage these days? It's all business now. Sign here, give away half your money to your wife. Wait, half! Half if your lucky. I was in love with my wife. But, she went and gained 40 pounds, and forgot that I existed. She devoted her life to our kids, and now I'm like the invisible man. Hey, but this is all my problem. As far as my brother goes, I hope there comes a day in which he can marry his lover. Why not? Straight people should be glad that gay people want to throw themselves off a cliff and share in the misery of marriage. I doubt it will happen in this country. There are still people in this country that call the Civil War the, "War of Northern aggression." And, there are still people that think being anything but white is a sin. I'm sure if it was up to those people many of us would still be slaves, or lower class slobs. For now, I tell my brother to count his blessings. He has a great excuse for not entering misery, I mean marriage. The law won't allow him. And you know, I wish someone would have not allowed me to ruin my life. Ain't that the truth. |
| Important News |
Freedom of speech should be limited, for everyone but ultraconservative blow-hards, like myself. With the Republicans in control of the empire, err, I mean country, it's easy to understand that wimpy liberals shouldn't be able to say what they want to say. They might actually say something that makes sense, and then what?
Only the right should be able to have complete freedom of speech. My good friend Trent Lott was a victim of the liberal left when he was attacked for his statements during a birthday party for centenarian Senator Strom Thurman. Now I ask you, why is it wrong for him to say that the country would have been better off if Strom Thurman was elected president, under a segregationist campaign platform? And why is it right for liberal Hollywood know-nothings to protest the great war against Iraq, part 2?
Now I ask you, what is this love for the freedom of speech? Every good American knows that freedoms need to be curtailed under the threat of terrorism. That means limiting speech to only positive things. No more talk of questioning what the great and powerful President Bush wants to do. Why is there descent anyways? Bush will lead us to the promise land of lower taxes, better schools, and conservative thinking. Isn't that worth giving up some of our freedoms?
To all those wimpy liberals I say, quit your whining. Stop with all this talk of freedoms. What do you want them for anyway? Don't you want to be safe? Don't you want your Uncle Sam to tell you what you can and can't say? It's so much easier that way. You don't have to think for yourself. Just shut your mouth and sit back, it's going to be a hell of a ride.
| Even More News |
If your old enough then your high school reunion might be nearing. Be it the 10th, 25th or whatever, I'm pretty sure that you still measure yourself against your former classmates. If you haven't become a big man, or woman, you'll have to take a few steps to making yourself look more successful than you really are.
Business Cards, you need to print up some fake business cards. First, you'll need to pick a career. But, don't pick something too exotic, or plain. Also, don't pick janitor and make up business cards for your janitorial job. That's just not going to cut it. Pick something in the computer industry. Everyone is in the computer industry nowadays. Also, the good thing is that right now the economy is on the skids, so you can tell everyone your between jobs. Or, tell everyone your a consultant. Consultant is a cover-all career.
But maybe you wanted to be something else. Salesman, how about that? Be the perfect Willie Lowman type. Always boast about how many sales you've made, when you haven't sold a thing. If someone finds out your not really a salesman just have a few appropriate lines from "Death of a Salesman" ready. "I am not ordinary, I am Willie Lowman!" Perfect! Next, pick something to sell. Some thing you know a little about is good choice. If not, write some possible things on some pieces of paper. Draw one out of a hat and go with that.
Be evasive. If a fellow school chum comes up and asks you what you do, don't say anything. Try to change the subject. Or, tactfully skirt around the subject. A good way to do that is to say your in-between jobs. Tell them about that job you had five years ago as if you just quit it two days ago. No one need know the truth. If you don't like that job make up a job, but don't be too specific. Something like saying you work with your father is always good. Always add that your going to take over the company soon, and your all set to impress.
That's what high school reunions are all about, impressing your former friends. They need not know that your a failure.
Spring 2003 / Bliss / archive / Fall 2003